For My Queen

I was raised up to be the perfect daughter. My mother did not expect any disobedience or disrespect from any of her daughters. I never thought to be disrespectful or the notion of disobeying her never occurred to me. Growing up, there was never any discussion of whose way it was going to be, we had no opinion. It was mum's way or the highway, and nobody wants to get to the highway, so we just obeyed.

I always knew for a fact that my mother was a very frustrated woman. She had seven kids, and she had to raise them by herself. She had no job or any help. Not that she was not married, au contraire, she had a husband who worked far away. As a kid, I did not know that I had a dad somewhere. It was always my mother and my siblings.

Mother dearest was a businesswoman, or a hawker if you like being specific. She hawked vegetables, door to door, to be able to feed and clothe us. This is the toughest work that I know. She had to walk from one part of our town to the next looking for her Indian customers so that she could sell the vegetables. She would come back home worn out and with splinting headaches every day. Then she would wake up the next day and do it again. 

This is the reason I would never disrespect or disobey my mother. She went through too much suffering and pain for us, and we all knew it. I did not have to be told that I needed to work hard in school and pull up good grades, because I knew that was my responsibility. I always felt that I have no right to be naughty or out of order, I knew that mum had too much on her plate and the least I could do was cut her some slack.

In my household, we were church people. So as not to worry mum, there were three places where she always expected us to be, when we were not at home. The first place was school, I personally loved school and I always looked for the opportunity to get lessons even on school holidays. Second place was the church, and we all loved going for our catechism classes or dance lessons in preparation for Sunday mass. But most importantly all our friends were from church and we played too much in the church compound. Third and my most favorite place was the library, and on every holiday we were expected to be out of the house by 7:30 am and on our merry way to the library. 

My mother was not overly strict, but she had this way about her that always made us be on our toes. As a kid I wanted to be just like her, but with less struggle in raising the children. I knew that if she could manage to put us in school and keep us in check, I could do it too. Though I still know that her shoes are too large for me to fill.

Our neighborhood was savage and all wrong. There was too much crime and too much immorality, but mum hid us in church, school, and the library. She told us to look around and choose to be better. We had no great people around us to emulate or look up to. We were surrounded by bad examples that we had to learn from. I had to do better than that girl who got pregnant at the age of thirteen. I had to pull up my grades so that I didn't flunk out of school like the neighbor's son. There were so many bad apples in that neighborhood and I had the opportunity to learn from the bad mistakes of others and rise above them.

I thank you mum for all the pain you endured and the tears, and blood that you shed in your lifetime, for us to be where we are today. You passed on too soon before you could see us grow. You planted the seed, you watered and weeded us into what we are and will be. Thank you Mum for your struggles. and above all, thank you for your love.